It is not what happens to me but how I handle it that determines my well-being. A new year presents itself with new opportunities to create the best you. I have learned that having positive self-esteem is an active process, and it is your daily efforts that will make a difference in your life experiences. It can be hard to define what self-esteem means to you, but implementing these techniques assist with your walk with confidence. First, let’s explore these questions to get you thinking about your self-esteem and self-worth.

1. Describe a time in your life where your self-esteem was high? What did that feel?
2. Describe a time in your life when your self-esteem was low? What factors contributed to those feelings?
3. Identify someone who had contributed to building your self-esteem?
4. Do you compare yourself to others? How did comparing affect your self-esteem?
5. What do your say to yourself that helps you remember how awesome you are?

Below are a few of my favorite ways to boost confidence levels:

• Be a Goal Getter. “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars.” – Les Brown. Learn to be satisfied with your best work. Avoid comparing yourself to others which often leads to dissatisfaction, frustration and in most cases anger.
• Focus on your accomplishments. “Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.” Each day give yourself a smile for the hard work that you have done and progress towards goals.
• Use positive mental imagery. Picture yourself having a successful day.
  Look on the inside not outside. Identify yourself by a sense of purpose versus identification by things you have. Your purpose will outlast material items.
• Be Positive. Acknowledge that how you think affects how you feel. If you continue to feel negative, swap out those thoughts with realistic positive thoughts. Find something positive about each day.
• Have an Attitude of Gratitude. Practice being grateful for what your have. Fill your cup with kindness, love, understanding, hope, peace and gratitude.
• Develop a Self-care plan. Be kind to yourself. Believing that, you are worthy of taking of yourself. Take care of your health: Mental, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual.
• Time to Turndown. Set aside time to relax and let go of stress. Utilize positive affirmation such as, “I am optimistic about life, I look forward to and enjoy new challenges.”
• Give it up, turn it loose. People-pleasing, negative self-talk, self-doubt, criticizing yourself and others, fear of failure and complaining.
• Seek Supports. Reach out to others who you share a common interest with, call an old friend back home, check on an elderly relative, join a local group or volunteer.
• Put on your favorite Heels. Hold your head up high and walk with confidence.  “The higher the better. It more about an attitude. High heels empower women in a way.” – Christian Louboutin 

Shayla Peterson, LCSW