I hope that you were able to start making some small changes after reading last week’s blog on 5 myths about emotions. This week’s blog will reveal 5 more myths we have been told about our emotions. It is my hope that we start to educate ourselves on our thoughts and feelings thus creating more of the actions that we would like to see in ourselves.
- If other don’t approve how you feel, you shouldn’t feel this way. As noted in myth number one, people will feel different about situation depending on their interpretation of the event and other factors. There is no right or wrong way to feel, ever. IF other seem to judge you for the feeling you are experiencing, remind yourself that the way you feel is just the way you feel, and it is okay.
- Painful emotions are bad and need to be fixed. Another myth. Painful emotions are painful, but that does not make them bad. Because all of our emotions serve a function, I could actually argue that all emotions are good. Granted, once you realize why emotion is there, you will likely don’t want that uncomfortable emotion hanging around. There are things you can do to help yourself with this but for now, simply recognized that no emotion needs to be fixed.
- Being emotional mean being out of control. Not necessarily true. Perhaps right nor, whenever you are emotional, you are out of control. We can learn to manage emotions more effectively so that we can remain in control even when you are experiencing strong emotions.
- It’s not healthy to express your emotions. Quite the opposite. It is not healthy if you do not express your emotions! Expressing your emotions in an assertive way is very healthy. Failing to express emotions, or expressing them in an aggressive or passive way is not effective and can even be harmful.
- Painful emotions will ever go away if you don’t act to make them go away. Another myth. The truth is that painful emotions often go away without us having to do anything about them. Trying to make them go away actually keeps them hanging around longer.
“Our Emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you.”
Balancing Emotions,
Shayla Peterson, LCSW
Reference: Van Dijk,S. (2012) Calming the Emotional Storm: using DBT skills to manage your emotion and balance your life.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages…..Life can feel like you are managing a circus, literally a circus attempting to balance different roles such as spouse, parent, son or daughter, brother or sister and friend. Let’s not forget the hoops we jump through for our careers. Along with juggling our feelings and past experiences that sometimes get in our way of making effective decisions. Balancing the Circus’ missions is to provide tools to reduce the stress and create a space to produce a smoother running Circus (oops, I meant to say smoother running Life). You are the Ringmaster or RingMistress (a female circus leader) of your life, and you get to decide the balance between acceptance and changes in your circus called, Life. Imagine that you actually got a handle on family, work, life balance with a guest appearance mental wellness. Let’s put on our high black boots and red top coat, because getting up and getting dress is half the battle. Be the Ringmaster. It’s your Life!!!
Shayla Peterson, LCSW, LISW-CP 